


Coepī Amāre

by girlycards



Series: Maige's Novis-Verse [4]
Category: Hellsing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, F/F, Maige's Novis-verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:28:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26170426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlycards/pseuds/girlycards
Summary: Following immediately after Seras's (presumed) disappearance in Novis
Relationships: Integra Hellsing/Seras Victoria
Series: Maige's Novis-Verse [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781419
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Coepī Amāre

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Maige](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maige/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Novis](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22760917) by [Maige](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maige/pseuds/Maige). 



> Ahh, thank you as always to user Maige for letting me write drabbles set in his AU!  
> And I am yet again, shamelessly using song lyrics to structure my work as I do with most of my early drafts to maintain a cohesive flow and theme. Lyrics are from Benny Blanco & Juice WRLD's Roses!

_Roses are red_

Red had already bathed all of London. In flame, in blood, in the tears shed by the juvenile vampire Alucard.

Perhaps another time, another life, she would dream of her again, surrounded by rose petals. Or those rose-red lips like a temptress, perhaps, instead of the blood that now haunted her. It coated her, it coated the mansion, her whole world. The blood would wilt like a rose, too, turning dark and staining everything.

Some part of her wished love would wilt, too. The petals of past joy and romance drying and decaying one at a time and falling away.

_Violets are blue,_

Occasionally blue eyes that were always full of such happiness. A promise of a better tomorrow. But now they weren’t here. They had closed. Forever.

Could tomorrow be better without her?

The thoughts lingered heavily in Integra’s mind as she touched where her own eye once was.

_My heart is dead,_

Her heart ached, as did the injured part of her face. Both feeling painfully empty.

Seras had filled a void she had never known herself to have.

When something is there, you forget what it is to be without. Or if it has always been there, you do not know what it is to lose.

Alucard likely felt the same void. A sense of profound loss, like he would have felt following his own death without his _beloved_ mistress.

But Integra couldn’t find herself caring enough about that. _Or anything_. Just the desire to forget it all. That she would wake up in a moment, to Seras’s reassuring smile, that it was all a nightmare. Perhaps a hug. To feel her hand on her face again, the brush of shadow under her eye.

Then, she could tell Seras she loved her. Or she wouldn’t. She felt like such a coward.

_I’m such a fool_

Much had been lost. The mansion, her people. And _her Seras_. Why hadn’t she realized it until that moment? Love had been lost, too. But is impossible to lose something you never had, is it? She had _always_ loved Seras. How had she missed that?

A lost chance. The chance to tell, to speak, to say. Burned with London.

She _knew_ Seras loved her, yes. But she never told Seras.

Seras would have likely chided her for not admitting to her feelings sooner. And she almost wished she would. It would be humiliating, yes. But at least Seras would be there to do that.

Perhaps that was her penance. The tears that flowed so freely. An expression of loss. To wash away the shame, at least for a moment. But nothing could wash away the expression on Seras’s face when she disappeared. The sharpness of the memory. The longing, the love.


End file.
